If Ignatius Reilly (from Confederacy of Dunces) and Matt Foley (Chris Farley’s SNL character) got together and co-wrote a self-help parody, it would be something like this hilarious book by Ronnie Champ. Are youa complete loser with no self-esteem? Do you want to learn the”secret” that will turn the Universe into your personal genie, so that you can get all the lucky breaks? Do you want to master the seven habits of highly dominant people, so that you can get everyone around you to do your bidding? If so, this funny satire is definitely for you. Apply the wisdom from this book to your life, and you will be transformed into the smug and selfish jerk you’ve always wanted to be.
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Are you a total LOSER? Are you tired of watching studs like me make out with YO MAMA? Are you ready to be transformed into a DOMINATING man, like me, with a bank account full of riches and a stable full of bitches? Then you need to check out my latest book, How to Win Girlfriends and Dominate People: Use the Secret of Positive Thinking to Think and Grow Rich (Self-Help Satire).
I am Ronnie Champ: the world-famous self-help guru, motivational speaker, entrepreneur, consultant, professional awesomeness expert, author, and a host of other lofty titles that require no formal training or official licensure.
I have also been an award-winning journalist — I awarded myself the 2018 Ronnie Champ Award for Journalistic Excellence for my role in uncovering a vast liberal conspiracy to make America NOT great. At great risk to my own life, I infiltrated several left-wing Facebook groups by disguising myself as Hillary Clinton. Because I love America, I decided to publish my findings — un-fact-checked and unedited — in my book The Top-Secret Democratic Playbook.
Prior to that, I taught courses in Advanced Voodoo Economics and Good-Ol-Boy Business Management at Trump Community College in my native Puddville, Alabama. Based on my scholarly research, I published the book Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol Boys (Satire).
I currently live in a quadruple-wide trailer in Puddville, Alabama with my goats and with whatever female companion I happen to be with. As the women like to say, in every trailer park this side of the Mississippi: Ronnie Champ is the MAN! If you want to become a great man like me, or if you are a female who wants to get with a great man like me, then read some of my books, fool! You can also visit me online at www.RonnieChamp.com.