Tell us about yourself and how many books you have written.
I don’t usually share my story with others. However, sometimes when I unintentionally mention things from my past, people are intrigued. They want to know more about my life. I’ve often been told that I should write a book because my struggles would resonate with others and my life story could be an inspiration. I’ve listened; I’ve written my book. I hope you enjoy it!
I truly believe that despite the pain of your past, you have the ability to change your future. You can make it happen if you just believe. It all starts with you.
Sometimes the people that we love can become cages, trapping us in a life that we don’t recognize or accept. Throughout my life, I have developed strength of character—a real determination that has seen me through some dark and abysmal times. This is the purpose of telling my story—I want to help you to discover your strength. I lived on the other side for a very long time. The other side of happiness.
They say that your youngest years are also your longest; you are too new to realize the relentless pace of the world. I was trapped there in my childhood and my youth, absorbing the pain of my circumstances in slow motion.
For too many years, I lived in utter misery because of my cruel dad, that evil boarding school and my slavemaster husband.
It was as if I had my face pressed against the window of a bakery but I was never allowed inside. Sure, I knew what the delights inside looked like but the taste, the smell, and the rapture of them were lost on me. Happiness was something that belonged to other people. They wore it so lightly, so naturally, that it became a source of confusion for me growing up.
I learned the wrong kinds of lessons. You know, the ones that keep you trapped inside misery forever. I just didn’t know any better. My normal was on the other side of living—it was coping. It took faith beyond reason to jar me out of that life but I found a way to cross over to the other side.
After endless torment, I made a promise to myself: No more. It was time to build the life I desired. I made a plan to change my world.
To say that writing this book has been an emotional experience would be an understatement. I had deliberately buried any memory of my youth because it became too painful to recollect. To write this book, I had to uncover my pain and dig up those memories that were long since put to rest.
In fact, I grew so disconnected from my feelings about my past, it was as if every bad memory I had was automatically locked away in order to protect myself from random recollections. Despite my efforts over the years to keep things buried, writing this book has uncovered these recollections and raw emotions, which now feel like fresh memories burnt into place.
Painful experiences can completely disconnect you from your feelings and the person you truly are, and worst of all, neglect your most crucial needs. I was there. I was at rock bottom and deeply ashamed of the choices I had made. I had to try to find a way to reconnect with myself.
I want to share my story to help others who feel as I did—ashamed, alone, sad and hopeless. Join me on this journey through my life’s struggles. As you join me in this personal memoir, a retelling of my crossing, I want you to hold a thought in mind. If life has kept you shut out of its joys and pleasures, I want to charge you with a single idea: if I could find my way through the bakery door, then you most certainly can too.
As you read my story, I hope you find your own inner strength to escape the prisons erected around you in your life.
I hope you will enjoy reading it.
All the best,
Christine Clayfield
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