Interview With Author Eric Dennis
Tell us about yourself and how many books you have written.
I’m a Clinical Psychologist, specialized in narcissistic abuse as a sort of an “imposition”, as I’ve been a victim of it myself, and now I use writing as another avenue to raise awareness about this problem and help victims. I am also a great admirer and follower of the work of Carl Gustav Jung, to me one of the greatest genius who have ever graced this planet. Awfully misunderstood, frequently slandered, rarely read, I find his body of work far superior to his “frenemy”‘s Sigmund Freud (who on the other hand has the undeniable merit of being sort of the “discoverer” of the Unconscious).
“I Want Out” is my first published work, a book designed to help people recognize and escape from situations of narcissistic abuse, which can also be read as a primer for anybody who wants to know more about narcissism. I detail the different manipulation techniques narcissists use (narcissistic abuse is insidious and can pass for even decades unnoticed by the victim), and include exercises and techniques to deal with the aftermath.
I’ve always been a big bookworm, interested in everybody who has something interesting to say about Psychology, Philosophy, Sociology… I admire thinkers like Henry Bergson (who, funny fact, was awarded the Nobel Prize… of Literature, I guess because his terse prose matches his main philosophical concept, “the duration” as an explanation of time), Lévi-Strauss, Merleau-Ponty… I’m also an avid reader of classic fiction, and also dabbled in fiction as a writer, won a few short story contests… For years I had the dream of becoming a novelist, but I finally found it too hard and demanding on my psyche, and now when I feel creative I prefer to play music instead.
What is the name of your latest book and what inspired it?
The full name of the book is “I Want Out: Go No Contact From Toxic Parents, Keep It That Way And Heal From The Narcissistic Abuse”. I guess I’ve covered part of the question in the previous section. I’ve found that most of the books on the topic are often either quite dry clinical manuals… or accounts written by victims that can be very subjective, emotional, and only give you “a part of the elephant”. With this book I intended to combine both tendencies into a book that is rigorous and informative, but that still shows a lot of empathy and compassion towards the victims, of which I’ve been one (the book is not openly autobiographical, but I do incorporate snippets from my own experience of abuse). I’m not pretending to have all the answers about such a complex and dramatic problem, but I think my book is a valuable, original addition to the choir of voices; I followed the usual adagio “if the book you want does not exist, write it”.
Do you have any unusual writing habits?
I don’t think there’s anything too eccentric I can report… If you put a camera in my office, you would see a guy in ugly but cozy clothes pacing to and fro endlessly, mumbling, staring at the wall, then making a “Eureka!” sign, going to the laptop and writing writing writing, then rinse and repeat. Oh, and making coffee after coffee that are like the bell between boxing rounds.
What authors, or books have influenced you?
I don’t recognize in my writing style any conscious influence, although of course I hope all those reads of excellent authors I’ve mentioned have somewhat rubbed in. When you write non-fiction it’s tricky, because the ideal is being as transparent as possible, that the language does not impress, you want the reader to “look at the moon, not at the finger pointing at the moon”, like a Zen story goes. But at the same time, sometimes the most effective way to communicate something is going a bit over the top, using deliberately weird phrasing or going a bit overboard with a metaphor… So it’s a balancing act.
What are you working on now?
I’m still busy with the promotion of “I Want Out”; I find ironic that, at this pace, the volume of requests, comments, inquiries, emails, etc I’m having to write, could match at some point the actual length of the book… I have a first idea of writing another book about narcissism, but more focused on helping those who are still in the narcissistic frying pan, with the recommended techniques to deal with everyday life and minimize psychic damage, until no contact becomes an option. It’s a first concept so the idea and scope might still change greatly…
What is your best method or website when it comes to promoting your books?
Perhaps because of the specialized nature of what I write, I’ve found my best success in Reddit, where I regularly participate in communities about narcissistic abuse. In general I abhor social media, but in Reddit, although you find the good the bad and the ugly, I’ve found there’s now and then the possibility of some meaningful, real human connection. People’s response to my book has really amazed me, their gratefulness, the feeling they’ve given me of being helpful, and it has reaffirmed my impression that there’s a demand for this kind of information, about an unspoken problem that affects millions of human beings.
Do you have any advice for new authors?
Get a culture. Don’t see writing as a sport, but as a forest of voices. Have heroes you praise, they will inspire you and come along the way with you. I hate it when people speak of writing as if it was some sort of “engineering”, and “making it” as if it was something you do on top of the dead bodies of your enemies, as if human culture was some kind of competitive sport… It’s about making your own contribution, not about being “perfect” (who has the yardstick for perfect anyways). As the saying goes, “the nigthingale is the bird that sings best. But if the forest only had nightingales, the forest would be a lonely place”. Your voice, your particular point of view have a value, don’t try to conform to pre-set rules, dare to be yourself, it shows in the writing.
I don’t know if it’s very practical advice that will help you sell lots of best-sellers, but it gives for better books in the end…
What is the best advice you have ever heard?
Hard to say. Perhaps “there is no free lunch”. But if you ask me in a quarter of hour, another sentence will pop out in my mind.
What are you reading now?
“The Sinaloa Story”, by Barry Gifford. Finding it only meh.
What’s next for you as a writer?
I’m looking forward to crossing the Kindle frontiers and moving into the hard copy world.
If you were going to be stranded on a desert island and allowed to take 3 or 4 books with you what books would you bring?
Tough call, probably I’d pick “Personality Types” by Jung (so profound and well thought out that it can probably be reread non stop and always finding something new), some book of short stories by some of the masters of the genre (the way you can “play around” with the order of short stories would make the book also harder to exhaust), and some Eastern philosophy book that is easy to scan, like the Dhammapada or Tao Te Ching.
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