Tell us about yourself and how many books you have written.
I was born a poor black child in the Tsunami-ravaged area of post-Katrina New Orleans, where I lived in an inner-city trailer home that spontaneously combusted due to terrorist activity. I was left homeless and on the streets, where I was forced to use my wits to survive. I currently work five dead-end jobs, struggling to make ends meet, while juggling the challenges of being a single mother.
I wrote 500 pages of my first novel on a napkin at a coffee shop in Edinburgh because my laptop would keep distracting me with cute videos of kittens on YouTube whenever I attempted to use it. Writing is especially difficult because I suffer from a debilitating form of carpel tunnel syndrome and an incurable form of arthritis, which combine into a super handicap which requires me to use robotic arms for daily tasks. All the kids make fun of my robotic arms, and I don’t think I will ever recover from the emotional scars of always being picked last in gym class.
And worst of all: I never learned to read!
I have written numerous books, which have all been based on dares, much like Scottish cuisine.
What is the name of your latest book and what inspired it?
My latest book is called Earthman Jack vs. The Secret Army. It was inspired by my desire to continue my Earthman Jack series and make money. (Mostly make money.)
Do you have any unusual writing habits?
Does sitting in my underwear, binge watching Netflix on mute, while refusing to bathe count? Because that’s how I roll.
What authors, or books have influenced you?
I have many influences, but my favorite author is George R.R. Martin. I love how he takes half decades to release new books. I hope to be just like him when I grow up.
What are you working on now?
I’m working on the third Earthman Jack book and a few mysteries. I’m also working on a plan to take over the world, but I refuse to share any details of that on the off chance my enemies are reading this and may attempt to thwart my plans. (You know who you are!)
What is your best method or website when it comes to promoting your books?
I’ve found pretending to be James Patterson works really well.
Do you have any advice for new authors?
Write what you know. Especially if you know how to murder people. That seems to be where the money’s at.
What is the best advice you have ever heard?
Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
What are you reading now?
Text messages from all my lady friends.
What’s next for you as a writer?
Alcoholism and a life of abject poverty.
If you were going to be stranded on a desert island and allowed to take 3 or 4 books with you what books would you bring?
Probably books on how to get off a desert island, along with a book of navigational maps and McGuyver’s guide to Island living. Oh, and 50 Shades of Grey.