About Wood by Cat Collins
Nico:
After an off-season drunken naked hockey game sliced my manhood off, I was whisked away to the secret island of Dr. Horatio Frankenpeen who used a little bit of medical science and a whole lot of magic to restore my crotch to its former glory. Get this: using a magic piece of wood from a very famous puppet.
Cool, right? It worked exactly like it should if you know what I mean, so I went back to my life as the star of the San Antonio Tower NHL team. Only after a small slip of the tongue at an interview, I was given a special media consultant to shadow my every move so the bad press didn’t get worse. When I started spouting the lies she fed me, I noticed a problem down below. My replacement eggplant grew every time I lied.
That left me with a conundrum: tell the truth and get booted off the team or lie and grow right out of my jock strap. Which do you think I chose?
Laurel:
I’d coached people back from things worse than angry outbursts before. It was the wooden member that was going to be difficult to navigate. If I didn’t get Nico’s penchant for honesty under control, we’d both be out of a job. He was going to have to get used to lying. Just like me when I said I wasn’t attracted to him.
Disclaimer: At present is not medically possible to reattach an appendage with a piece of wood. (Come on, future. Don’t let us down!), so please don’t hack off any eggplants as a result of this story. And don’t worry, there will not be any splinters.
For fans of dark humor romance like STUFFED and UNHINGED. It’s spicy, witty, and utterly irreverent.
Any resemblance to a very famous character who had a very famous lying problem with his very famous nose when is purely coincidental. Why would I lie to you?
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