Interview With Author Ralph Burton
Tell us about yourself and how many books you have written.
HEY, HEY, HEY,
WHAAAAAAAAT’S UP IN THE HOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSEEEEE. My name’s Ralph Burton and I’ve unfortunately written twenty-three books. Ever since my wife left me and took the dogs I’ve had a lot of time on my hands.
What is the name of your latest book and what inspired it?
My last book was called Presence and it was about these teenagers out in Antarctica in the eighties who discover Santa Claus. It’s a bloody, gruesome horror story, of course. The main character, Carrie, is the daughter of a fictional tyrannical prime minister Elizabeth Chaplin, and the book is as much about the dark shadow her mother casts, as it is about the supernatural goings on out in the ice. The book was ripped off from Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker in which young Clara goes down in the middle of the night and discovers the toys have come to life. Only with much more violence.
Do you have any unusual writing habits?
I have a Diet Pepsi that I open up and listen to The Rolling Stones. While I wrote Presence, though, I tried to make my surroundings feel like Christmas so I had a glass of wine and ate a lot of oranges and chocolate.
What authors, or books have influenced you?
My favourite writers are Roald Dahl, H.P. Lovecraft, Edgar Allan Poe and Angela Carter. I love all four of these writers so much and constantly rip them off. I also love Charles Baudelaire and James Joyce but they are much harder to rip off because half the time I’ve got no idea what they’re going on about and I’m too terrified to ask.
What are you working on now?
My next book is the fourth segment of the TORN PAGES series in which Alice and her family travel on blue bicycles through a multiverse of classic books while avoiding killer trees. This book follows Alice’s friend, Juliet, as she tries to escape from the Underworld. It’s got a lot of screaming.
What is your best method or website when it comes to promoting your books?
I have my mojo dojo casa house website where I promote the books and my toxic, self-pitying personality, as well as selling mugs, t-shirts and varsity jackets. Despite what you think of me, the mugs are quite nice.
Do you have any advice for new authors?
My advice is, just go for it. Don’t worry about what people think. Don’t worry about success. Just write what you want, when you want, how you want. Don’t worry about writer’s block. The ideas will come, don’t worry, and when they do, it’ll be the greatest ever feeling. There’s nothing like being a writer, exploring the areas of the universe where others can’t or don’t want to, and if you’re a writer, it doesn’t matter how successful or acclaimed you are, you’re still a writer. A writer is a writer is a writer. We’re all friends here.
I wish you the best of luck and look forward to reading your book and envying how you did it so much better than me.
What is the best advice you have ever heard?
“Chill out, what you yelling for, lay back it’s all been done before” — Avril Lavigne
“The people who are dancing will always have more fun than the people who stand on the side-lines complaining about the people who are dancing” — Taylor Swift
What are you reading now?
The Road to Wigan Pier by George Orwell.
What’s next for you as a writer?
I’m going to work on the TORN PAGES series for this entire year. This will be the year of the pumpkin.
If you were going to be stranded on a desert island and allowed to take 3 or 4 books with you what books would you bring?
It would be easy to make an obvious joke answer like “How to build a raft” , ha-ha-ha, nobody’s ever heard that one before but for once, unlike the rest of this interview, I’ll be sincere. If I had to bring four books, I would like ones that are so ambitious and incredible in their worldview, I would be able to leave that island in my mind and travel all around the world without taking a single footstep.
1. Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
2. Dubliners by James Joyce
3. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
4. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Author Websites and Profiles
Ralph Burton’s Social Media Links
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