Tell us about yourself and how many books you have written.
I’m a writer and I am a storyteller. I am one of those old farts who hangs out at the campfire and tells you stories about what happens to hitchhikers and people who say “Candyman-candyman-candyman-candyman-candyman” in front of the bathroom mirror.
I would rather tell you a story – either a funny one or a scary one – than breathe.
Trust me, if you could smell my breath right now you would rather me tell you a story than breathe as well.
I’m not saying I’m hygienic.
I really could not tell you just how many books I have written.
I’ve got seven releases through a regional publisher. I’ve had about a dozen or two dozen small press releases over the years. I have almost thirty independent releases.
I just can’t keep count. I’d need to hire an accountant with an abacus up his ass to keep track of everything that I have written.
I’m not bragging – I’m just obsessed. I tend to think in plot and I have a deep-seated need to spin yarns.
Are you hearing me?
What is the name of your latest book and what inspired it?
My latest book that I would like to brag about is called UNCLE BOB’S RED FLANNEL BIBLE CAMP – FROM EDEN TO THE ARK.
So what is it about, you ask?
Well, let me put it this way.
Forget about Russell Crowe. He is cute in a sort of homely “I-have-lived-off-of-sausage-and-custard-and-bean-sprouts” kind of way but he doesn’t have ANYTHING on Uncle Bob.
Do you want to know what this book is about?
Let me put it to you this way.
Did you ever wonder how your favorite uncle might explain the Bible to you if you asked him to?
Just pick up a copy of UNCLE BOB’S RED FLANNEL BIBLE CAMP – FROM EDEN TO THE ARK and find out for yourself.
UNCLE BOB is the first book in a series that will eventually retell the entire OLD TESTAMENT.
I have always been interested in the old Bible tales and I have always enjoyed retelling stories in my own particular fashion. I dislike mimetic retellings – folks who just memorize the way it was written down and rattle it off like they were trying to impress their girlfriend by reciting Edgar Allan Poe’s THE RAVEN.
Take it from me. That just doesn’t do it at all.
I don’t make fun of God or religion or the old tales – I just have fun retelling them. The way I figure it all of those old boys – Samson and Moses and David and Adam – didn’t really realize that they were supposed to be biblical. They were way too busy just trying to make it through their day.
Remember – God invented giggling.
Do you have any unusual writing habits?
Sure – but you would have to ask my cat and she isn’t talking.
What authors, or books have influenced you?
Charles Bukowski
Joe Lansdale
Mark Twain
Steven Leacock
Milton Acorn
Stephen Hunter
Robert Parker
Richard Stark
Larry McMurtry
What are you working on now?
I have just finished the second volume of UNCLE BOB’S SAGA – which winds up retelling the rest of the Book of Genesis.
I am pausing to finish a Bigfoot novel that has been sitting patiently on the back burner for some time now.
What is your best method or website when it comes to promoting your books?
I’m still trying to figure that one out. I know that I do not sell nearly as many books as I ought to be selling. I have bad luck in promoting my work. I don’t think that it is anything I am doing wrong so much as it is I haven’t figured out the RIGHT way to do it just yet.
Give me time.
The Ark wasn’t built in day, you know.
Do you have any advice for new authors?
Keep writing.
Don’t fart around on the internet.
I do that too much and it slows me down considerably.
Write faster. Write more. LEARN HOW TO PROMOTE EFFECTIVELY. You don’t sell your books then who is reading them?
What is the best advice you have ever heard?
Write one book.
Write the next.
Sell the first book.
Write a third while you are selling the second.
Do I need to keep going here?
Writing is a game of stones upon water. You keep chucking those stones out into the deep end of the swimming hole trying to make a ripple that will someday reach the sea.
We’re all ten years old in these here parts.
What are you reading now?
One more darned question, I guess.
(grin)
I just finished reading a Grisham novel that was fun and well-plotted but ultimately mind candy. The fact is I don’t particularly care for deep world-shaking novels. I like mind candy. Keeps me fat and happy.
What’s next for you as a writer?
One more darned book, I guess.
If you were going to be stranded on a desert island and allowed to take 3 or 4 books with you what books would you bring?
A couple of big fat ones – maybe the Sholokov Don Cossack series.
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